have you ever felt like you were stuck in a dream when you listen to your favorite love song and stare at the person in front of you, feeling your heart skip a painful beat and flutter as it tries to keep itself from sinking deeper and deeper into your chest. deep breaths... deep breaths... close your eyes... another deep breath... now open.

























he's still there, but now he's smiling and you feel your heart of ice melt from the warmth he's giving to you...














~sigh~ it's love all over again

so my longtime classmate, Brian, is creating a storyline that he wants turned into a manga. hmmm interesting. he asked me to be his artist. even more interesting. i have a story to finally stick vincent into... very interesting.

So I just returned from my 4 day weekend in Tenn. I had to get my car fixed, spend some time with the In-laws, Celebrate becoming Shawn's wife, etc etc. Throughout the course of my "mini-vacation" i had received certin amounts of text from people in FFXI. I wanted a vacation from the game, and wanted to actually go out and enjoy the fresh air, the warm sun, REAL LIFE OUTSIDE THE GAME. I didn't know how much I would have been missed and I feel like all my free time is surrounded by this vampire of a game. I'm somewhat bothered about it, cause i feel like i'm only being dragged into the game to spend time with my friends even though they have other ways of contacting me (even though my minutes on my phone are limited). but i dont know... i feel as if people have become dependent on me.

Right now i'm slightly dazed after being awake for 16 minutes from the cat, even though I've been awake for 2 hours. and I get this rush of a feeling like "i have to get online to clear shit up" even though I was gone for a few days and had announce it, and had personal things to take care of and whatnot. I feel like i'm ranting, but i'm also becoming sick of FFXI because Im not having fun anymore. I love adventering, I love doing random shit like I use to do in game. I miss running around with Yamamotokenshin and Crouriant feeling like I can do something like curing them and raising them because they're always careless enough to get themselves in a bad situation. but even then, Crou and Yama arn't logging in as much anymore... and I feel as if I might do the same. I might convert and go back to Ragnarok Online and stay drama free from there on out.

guess who's stuck in tenn... in short shorts and a t-shirt waiting for laundry to finish... I miss my car...

it's almost 4 am here... which means it's almost 9 am in england and 17:00 in japan... my body aches and i feel like i'm high... but i'm not sleepy at all... keep going crosseyed, LOL. so when i do prob wake up and look at this i wont remember any of it. holy crap my spelling isn't to bad right now for being slightly sleep depreviedsdfed (shit) drunk... whell that shucks. kashi-chan abandoned me in msn, i'll get my revenge on you, just you wait... *shakes fislt* JUST YO UWAIT IN YOUR DRILL-TO-DA-HEAVENZ-ANDB-EYOND-KAMINA-SOUL-EATTING-KAPE-ZOMBIE! luff you kashi-chan, i need to harass you moor and and adn damn it il lost my train of thought.

anways, HURRAY WHM UPDATE: i can now competwe with SCHS and their giant bookz of doom. HURRAY. /CHEER... NICKY IF YOU"RE READING THIS, I"M OK... JUST SLEEPY DRUNK... oops caps.

more random doodlse later... now to sleep all over my sketch book and see what comes out from drooling on it... mmm comfy.